What It Means To Be a Proverbs 31 Man
How To Be a Man Known Within the Gates
Within Proverbs 31, there is a detailed description of what it means to be a virtuous woman. It talks about virtues such as her husband trusting in her, doing good to her husband, seeking resources to produce with her hands, rising early to feed her family, and more.
Then, in the twenty-third verse of Proverbs 31, we catch a glimpse of what this woman's husband is doing while she performs the actions described in the previous verses. The verse states:
"Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land." - Proverbs 31:23 (KJV)
The phrase "is known in the gates" refers to the assemblies of other men. Men who were debating and discussing matters, likely developing theology and theories about the topics of the day. The elders are those with much wisdom and honor among these assemblies. This man is known there, recognized among the wise, and respected.
It's a fine and even noble goal to seek a wife who matches all the qualities of the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31. However, if we as men are not seeking to benefit such a wife, building a name for our family, how can we expect to attract such a woman?
4 Key Aspects To Be a Proverbs 31 Man
Given how little is mentioned about the husband of the Proverbs 31 woman, the following four points are my perspective on what will lead a man to "be known in the gates" and give us the proper wisdom to "sit among the elders of the land."
Mental Sphere
"Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth." - 2 Timothy 2:15 (KJV)
We must put in the work to learn new things, to gain the knowledge required to build wisdom. If wisdom is knowledge with experience, we must first have the knowledge.
This applies to any area of life, but the main focus must be on matters of theology as defined and derived from the Bible. Without a solid understanding of what the Bible teaches, we are without the knowledge needed to answer questions about our faith as they arise.
Physical Sphere
"For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's." - 1 Corinthians 6:20 (KJV)
This verse has many applications, one of them being to keep our bodies in good physical shape. This can be overdone, and exercising for vain reasons should be avoided.
However, that does not mean we should completely neglect exercise and eating well. It's our duty to make sure we are active and fulfill our role as Christian men. If our weight or health has been neglected to the point it forces us to abdicate our responsibilities, then we must change our habits.
Conversely, if your weight or health (when in our control) does not hinder us from fulfilling our roles and responsibilities God has given us, then obsessing over body fat percentage and diet is a waste of time. Do exercise, eat well, and keep both extremes in check.
Social Sphere
"Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching." - Hebrews 10:25 (KJV)
God made us to be social. We need interaction with our brothers in Christ often to be edified and uplifted. The isolation of our daily lives is a net negative.
While we can handle being alone and sometimes prefer it (trust me, I'm very introverted), we cannot live without social interaction with our brothers. This even goes for social media and online chats.
These are great tools to meet people and build relationships but are not the same as having a group of men you can meet with in person and discuss all areas of life. There is something different about in-person relationships with your brothers in Christ than when stuck behind a screen.
Artistic Sphere
"Praise him with the sound of the trumpet: praise him with the psaltery and harp." - Psalms 150:3 (KJV)
Art is another aspect that is important to cultivate. There is no need to ever show anyone the art you make, but making art is a must. This can be painting, drawing, poetry, short story writing, making music, and a long list of other activities.
Find an art form that you enjoy, it could even be digital art, and start creating your own. Spend time studying the art form you chose and improve your skills. Again, no one ever needs to see your art but chances are, if you stick with it, you'll get much better than the average "enjoyer".