On The Wife's Role Within Her Husband's Flock
How the Wife Fulfills Her Role Within God's Marital Design
In modern Christianity there is an avoidance of responsibility of the wife in the family. It’s became taboo to talk about how women are to submit to their husbands, manage his home, and make is life easier.
However, scripture explains the roles both men and women are to follow in the proper marriage structure. This marriage of husband and wife reflects the greater spiritual reality of Christ’s dominion and love for his flock.
The husband is charged to do the same and shepherd his small but significant "flock"; his family. Central in a man’s flock is his wife. Her role is supportive and her help is one of the many essences in the workings of the holy institution know as the family.
God did not create Eve as a type of sub-Adam. Rather God created Eve in order to be a helpmate to Adam. The creation was intentional and assisted Adam to be more effective in fulfilling his God-given mandate.
And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. [Genesis 2:20]
When a husband marries, he is not choosing a “partner” but rather receiving a crucial member into his spiritual jurisdiction. This relationship has deep dynamics to it and when the roles of each are ignored or mixed the husband is less effective on his mission.
See, each wife has the unique potential to either compound her husband's burdens or significantly lighten them. The impact in either direction has great implications to her husband’s mission.
Some ways a wife may add to her husband's burden is by viewing herself as individualistic, as equal in authoritative role, or by devaluing the weight of responsibility that he carries. This devaluing can occur by claiming he “does less” around the home; even though his main responsibilities lie outside of household chores.
However, a wife may lighten her husband's burden by actively expressing her loyalty, joyfully submitting to his leadership, and through sincere admiration for his God-given role. She can happily do the chores around home and manage all that her husband brings in, as to multiply it for her family.
A wife who is faithful, obedient, gladly obeys the husband's role, and respects his call, will lighten her husband’s load. This will increase the husband’s effectiveness and capacity to lead his family faithfully and provide for his flock.
"Now, since God assigns the woman as a help to the man, he not only prescribes to wives the rule of their vocation to instruct them in their duty, but he also pronounces that marriage will really prove to men the best support of life."
- John Calvin
Calvin emphasizes the fundamental support a wife gives not only in worldly matters but also as a foundation in her husband's spiritual leadership. This is where the husband is charged to teach, intercede, protect, and provide for his “flock.”
For the husband, this relationship is a balance between dominance and stewardship. Where the husband must guide his wife and keep her holy while she follows him as he imitates Christ.
The role of the husband must mirror that of Christ and the Church. It is for him to bear the image of Christ, who gave His life to sanctify His bride and make her holy. This kind of love, thus sacrificial, must be nurturing and admonishing, ensuring that the spiritual health of his flock is kept.
What is often ignored is that Christ also rebukes the Church because he loves the Church. The husband must do the same for his bride. The action the husband takes to rebuke and discipline his wife vary in each household but it must be done. It’s his duty to keep his wife from sin and address it when shows up.
As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent. [Revelation 3:19]
As such, the husband has to lead with a balance of firmness and love, never to give in to wrongful desires within both himself and his wife. He must stay within the commands of Christ Jesus in all his rebuking, teaching, and providing.
If the husband should stray away and request his wife to sin she is not only free disobey, but she is required to resist so she does not sin against our holy God. For, at such a request, the husband has forfeited his authority from God and he himself must repent.
Within the bounds of righteousness, however, the wife’s submission to her husband's godly leadership speaks of submission to God. This submission manifests itself in a reverence made evident by a meek and quiet spirit.
As mentioned earlier, the wife's position in her husband's flock is indispensable. She’s the support her husband needs to better lead and fulfill his mission. Once married it is of the utmost importance to give her husband the support he needs to lead his flock.
It is in this husband-and-wife relationship that we strive towards the ultimate purpose that God ordains for marriage. This purpose is to glorify God by being obedient to Him, raising Christian children, and imitating the perfect relationship of Christ and His Church.