Handling Pushback When You Step Up
A Christian man's guide to maintaining godly leadership in the face of resistance
The Cost of Biblical Leadership
When we start stepping up to our calling as Christian men, push-back is inevitable. Whether it comes from your wife, girlfriend, or lifelong friends, choosing to live by God's standards will disrupt the status quo of your relationships.
You're not causing conflict because you want to—it's simply the natural result of aligning your life with Christ's calling. When people say you've changed or that you're different now, take it as confirmation that your sanctification is bearing fruit. As Romans 8:28 reminds us:
"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."
The Reality of Resistance: A Personal Journey
"You're taking this way too seriously."
These words cut deep when they came from my wife after I began embracing my biblical role as husband and father. I've faced harsh criticism from atheists online, but hearing this from my spouse hit differently.
For nine years, I avoided meaningful leadership in my marriage. When I finally started standing on biblical principles, it rocked the boat. "You never used to act like this" became a common refrain, especially during disagreements where I refused to back down just to keep the peace.
Understanding the Conflict
As an introvert, I naturally shy away from conflict. But here's the truth: biblical leadership inherently creates tension because living for Christ opposes our fleshly nature. This applies not only to our own struggles but also to those closest to us.
Jesus himself warned us in Matthew 10:34:
"Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword."
Finding Peace in the Storm
When the tempest of opposition grows overwhelming, remember Christ sleeping peacefully in the storm-tossed boat. My own experience proves this truth. Yes, correcting nine years of passive leadership created turbulence in my marriage, but that's not the end of the story.
As I've grown in understanding God's design for male leadership, standing firm has become natural. Though my wife and I still have disagreements, accusations of taking things "too seriously" have faded. My embrace of biblical leadership has allowed her to step into her God-given role, creating true harmony in our home.
Practical Steps for Standing Firm
1. Stay Anchored in Prayer
Begin each day seeking God's guidance
Pray specifically about areas of resistance
Maintain spiritual preparation instead of emotional reaction
2. Build Your Biblical Foundation
Study one aspect of biblical leadership weekly
Document relevant scriptures
Meditate on God's design for leadership
Focus on understanding, not winning arguments
3. Lead Through the Resistance
View push-back as opportunities to demonstrate Christ-like leadership
Balance firmness with patience
Explain decisions with kindness
Remember God's patience with you
Let your consistent leadership speak louder than words
Moving Forward in Faith
The story of Jesus calming the storm (Mark 4:35-41) teaches us a crucial lesson about leadership. Just as Christ remained peaceful during the tempest, we too can lead with calm authority when anchored in Him. Your journey toward biblical leadership may face resistance, but remember—there's always calm after the storm.
Ready to stand firm in your biblical role, even when others push back? Join 1,500+ Christian men in the free 21-Day Biblical Masculinity Challenge and learn how to lead with godly conviction. Get daily Scripture-based guidance, practical action steps, and thought-provoking prompts delivered straight to your inbox.